There's Work To Do

Being that I'm 26 years old, and that I've been lucky enough to be around for this boom that is social networking, I've been able to retrace every wrong step I've made since 2005.

I see how I was, and I see who I am.  With my type of thinking, I should have been killed off in a soap opera by now.  But that's not the case.  I'm alive for some reason.  You see, I haven't lived up to squat!  I'm angry because of me.  Every indecision, and every let down is because of me. 

But I've come to believe that I still have a chance to lead a normal, yet larger than life type of living.  To live my "dreams".  Unfortunately, everyone has this opportunity to succeed and fail.  Because there is only one pie, but we all can't get a piece.  Only some of us are able to succeed, while the rest just live on with a legacy that doesn't have the same notoriety as a great politician, or a famous celebrity.  But that's always been my obsession; my legacy.  I realize that's all I have ever really cared about.

I've been a fool.  I've been a fool to think that it mattered to be remembered.  As nice as it would be, it's not really worth it.  But in the end, in the myopic life we live in, it doesn't matter.  I'm not a man of faith, so therefore I do not know what will happen when I die.  Whether I go to heaven, go to hell, get reincarnated into a butterfly, or I simply just die and nothing happens at all.  That's it.  Dead.  That was just your life, good job!

I want to live my life.  I don't know what the next minute, hour, day, or month will be like, but I can only do so much to direct it in a manner that I can be happy with.  If I did die just now, no, I wouldn't be happy with how I've left my mark.  To the few that I will be remembered by, this isn't who I truly am.  I haven't even turned into the person I should be.  Will I ever?  Meh.

I've come to realize that the next twelve months of my life, everything changes.  Only four other individuals know my true intentions.  The rest?  Well, the rest will just have to wait and see.

There's a lot of work to be done before I leave my mark in twelve months.